New Flower Guest House

Ethiopian adoption is in a state of flux for those who may not be



familiar.  The number of adoptions and agencies has increased



dramatically and thus has created more confusion as well need for



regulation and control to keep the possibility of corruption low.







Helen is a warm, lovely Ethiopian woman who owns a guest house in



Addis Ababa.  She lived in the United States for many years so has a



grasp of our cultural climate, etc.  She also is in the rather



precarious position of advocating adoption of Ethiopian children as



well as listening and heeding the increasing restrictions of the



adoption powers of Ethiopia.  On top of that she is our liason while



in her country on what is considered acceptable and unacceptable.







I would guess a majority of the adoption agencies are now forbidding



their adoptive families to take their children from the orphanage



until they leave for home as there has been a concern of perception



not as much of the white (European, Canadian, American) families



adopting their children but of how we may be dressing in this very



conservative culture or allowing our children to be out late, behaving



in ways they don't approve, etc.  Some agencies have their own guest



houses and in that way they can take their child(ren) during the stay



here and forge that bond so very much needed before you board a plane



for the 17+ hour flight just to get you back to the United States.



Certain hotels here have begun refusing to allow adoptive Ethiopian



children to stay with their families.  Our agency does not have it own



guest house so we were tickled pink to find that Helen's New Flower



Guest House had room for us.  Marty goes out daily on long jaunts but



the boys and I stay here.  Helen has hired a sitter to stay with the



boys should we want to explore together and eat out at a restaurant -



but I don't want them to get the message that at this tender point in



our new family life I'd prefer eating out than simply being with them.







What can I tell you about  her home?  Coming here is like visiting a



sister/friend that you have simply not yet met.  She lives here in the



guest house so although you are paying to stay here that is quickly



forgotten as you find yourself enveloped in simply being welcome.  We



are staying upstairs where there are four bedrooms and three baths.



We're in the HUGE master bedroom (with a fireplace and balcony) with



our own private bath.  Athough all the rooms have locks/keys I don't



know we've ever utilized it (except maybe turned the key at  night to



keep the boys IN should they wake up).  Our bathtub is very deep and



the hand-held shower has a tremendously long cord so that you can



easily wash babies as well as yourself.  There isn't a shower curtain



so we have found ourselves washing our hair first by leaning over the



tub and then climbing in to rinse and wash our bodies.  It works just



fine!  We're here in rainy season so it is cool and we have our



windows and balcony door open often until we get a mite chilled.







I've never stayed in a guest house before so I'm still finding myself



comparing guest house to a hotel.  The winner?  Guest house - hands



down!   We have closets with locks on them and while at first I



(mistakenly) assumed it was for our peace of mind that our things



would not disappear either from the staff or other guests, I utilized



them for the first time yesterday when I discovered that my boys who



are VERY curious have determined that anything is theirs to explore,



taste, take, tamper, etc and while I love that curiosity our video



camera, laptop, cameras, phones, etc are NOT playthings.  We have some



boundaries to set but we'll make it.







Currently there is one other family here who I have mentioned, Victor



and Jill with their 4-month-old daughter Sophie.  Wow.  If we had been



in a hotel we would not have interacted with such a neat family.



Marty and Victor have had several really funny (Jill and I say



bonding) experiences on their various outings.  I consider them



friends and we have shared supplies and such.  Its a very relaxed,



easy setup and so very nice to have other families going through



similar emotional changes in this adoptive process.  Jill and Victor



hit a snag at embassy on Wednesday and when they learned they passed



yesterday I felt their joy was mine as well.







Helen's living area is nice and the living room is open to the dining



room and fireplace.  The kitchen is open to all guests.  They will



cook for you,  you can go to the market and cook for yourself, you can



go out and eat and have a sitter stay with your children, or you can



go out (often having a staff member with you) and bring the food back.



Helen will often eat with you.







The staff?  Oh my goodness.  I'm totally enthralled with Caanan who



has been so outstanding with communicating between my sons and I.  But



everyone here is just . . . marvelous.   The back courtyard is where



the clothesline is for washing and the detached kitchen sits to the



side.   With the windows open  you listen to soft conversations dotted



with frequent laughter.  Helen has only been at this new location a



very short time and they are still making little tweaks here and there



(moving a picture, adjusting a light fixture) and they apologized to



us.  Ha!  It simply made me feel that much more like I'm home.



Everyone seems to keep so busy but they all seem to enjoy each other's



company as well.  Everyone has been helpful in working with the boys



as well (especially as they have become more rambunctious).







Funny, our hotels in China were in these marvelous, elaborate



five-star retreats with these amazing amenities and I find myself so



much more relaxed, comfortable, and welcome right here.  I'm not sure



what the combination of it is, but I'm so delighted that we are here.



What would we have missed had we not had this experience?   Simply



put - family!















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