Carole

The boys

First there is Abel. He was actually standing in the front room of the orphanage when we first arrived. We both said “hi” and he didn’t really look at us but didn’t shy away either. He seemed to know that we were there for him and hung around. I pulled out his camera and he immediately took interest. Here’s what I can tell you about him since spending the first 24 hours with him.

He is quiet. He is artistic. He loves to draw and color and will stay in the lines and takes great pride in his work. He makes hats, boats, and airplanes out of paper as well as a “camera” that uses two separate pieces interlaced so that the lens appears to open and close with a snap. He doesn’t seem particularly interested in food. He’s low key. He’s SMART. Electronics or any gadgetry seems to intrigue him and he’s not destructive with even my camera. His smile stands out so brightly against his dark complexion and can light a room. I’m amazed at his grace. I knew he could do the handstand and backbend but his cartwheels seem effortless. The role of big brother is filled well. He nutures Tekleab yet can tease at times, but will give in once the tears or whines increase in severity. There are basic words he knows and I believe his understanding is just around the bend. He recognizes some words (fish, dog) and recognizes the numbers 1, 2 and 3. He loves his Dad. They have played soccer, nerf darts, and paper airplanes . I wish I had a photo of them on the loveseat this morning. Marty had his arm draped over Abel and Abel was stroking Marty. The contrast in their complexions was so striking and they were both at such peace I wanted to cry. His voice is soft and his laugh is so natural and unforced. He calls me “Mom” with ease. Sleep is marked with snoring. He wakes like his dad . . . quiet and without fanfare. He doesn’t communicate much in the mornings, no fuss, no food. He stumbled into the bathroom after taking care of business and emerged with his face washed and fresh. This child is so NEAT and easy to be around. He’ll be ready for kindergarten soon and I can see him embracing the experience.

Tekleab is his own person. He’s loving and more outgoing (which is the exact opposite of what we were told). He’s naughty and responds to correction with a deliberate repeat of the offending action and a laugh while scampering away. He is a flirt and a tease. He loves his brother and plays off of him to get what he wants. He will grab whatever catches his eye and will wrestle anyone to secure it. If he is unable to attain it the whining starts, soft and high-pitched. Its not exactly a keening noise but close. If that fails, then the full cry begins and it will elict a nose run. I was overwhelmed at first and then when ignored, Abel gives in to him. It is a process that works! Later today I imitated him (it was almost nap time) and Abel laughed easily at my antics. Tekleab was asleep within two or three minutes. I think with time, structure, and firmness we will be just fine. I’m having to remember that all of this change isn’t easy. Its funny though, he’ll call “mommy” and take my hand and point at the object that is wanted and I’m supposed to get it.

Both boys have no problem being naked in front of us. They arrived without underwear and Tekleab’s clothes especially were HUGE on him. It is really kind of cool here and they are currently decked out in Old Navy sweats that fit perfectly. Tekleab slept in his windbreaker last night. Hold on to your hats, Wisconsin winter is coming. They have showered and seem to LOVE their new shoes and spiderman

socks. Tekleab especially loved to smell his pajamas. I put some Dowy wrinkle release on them and that just added to his delight. He will ask frequently for water.

At dinner last night Tekleab literally fell asleep at the table before supper was ready. I cradled him and then tried to wake him gently but he was out. He slept on the love seat while we ate and then Marty carried him to bed. It was 6:30. I felt awful because he didn’t have a nap that day but we were so busy into the “getting to know you” gig. Abel at his egg sandwhich and I had marvelous pasta that reminded me of the killer noodles we had our last night in Taiyuan on our trip to get Julia. Marty ordered Helen’s famous french fries and they were as delicious as they were built up to be. The brought THREE bowls of them and soon Abel was staring with those huge dark eyes and we recognized that he was tired too and headed upstairs, not before taking a bowl of fries up for later in case Tekleab woke up famished.

Well I woke sometime before 3 and could NOT get back to sleep. Finally at 4 I took my shower because two showers in a row takes the hot water and I didn’t want to leave Marty in that situation again. I had noticed around 2:30 that Tekleab sat up then creeped over to join Abel in his bed. Marty and I chuckled. Well one I stepped out of the shower Abel sat up again and held up his arms. I cradled him and he just melded to my body and with a sigh his head dropped to my neck. We were content. I walked over to Marty and we then scooted to place him with us and snuggle. He’s pretty good at that. Then he’d pop up, ask for water (sounds like Aqua) and then padded up to the fireplace mantle where the cold fries were and brought the bowl back to bed. So we sat in bed munching cold fries in the dark and drinking water. He’d lay down between us and I’d hear his breathing relax and deepen over Abel’s snores.

Then WHAM! A leg would flop or I’d suddenly have fingers in my ears or toes up my nose (literally). He flip-flops in bed even more than his sisters. A couple of times he’d wake with a scream and crying out. One time Mama was the first word. His heart was pounding against his chest and he soothed down. We spent hours trying to rest fitfully, bonding, and eating.

Once Abel awoke we began our day of bonding at Helen’s New Flower.