We planned church today. We planned church today. Julia was screaming in her sleep at regular intervals, the windows were up and someone was burning something during the night and we all woke with "crud" in our throats (although it smelled glorious).
I finally moved Julia to our bed after 5 a.m. and of course that prompted Mary to move as well. Julia drifts to sleep and Mary flips and flops and fusses with being covered. I'm exposed as she moves on top of the comforter. Marty is either feigning sleep or infuriatingly able to rest. I get up.
The boys begin their morning assault on the household and I shush and whisper and then even threaten. I shut all doors in the hallway (including one of the bathrooms) and instruct them to silence. When they drift back there I stand in the hallway protectively and motion their retreat. We watch Veggie Tales and snuggle in the living room while the rest of the family sleeps.
And I'm at peace. Sarah and Andy have the drive back today and I don't want them exhausted for it. I know that Marty is needing rest and he needs to head back to work again today for a few more hours. Mary then Julia join us. I have my children gathered as the sunlight streams in and the morning unfolds.
I worship. Oh how wonderful are His works. His love envelopes me. I am so very blessed.
Later the rest of the household wakens and as Andy begins to apologize for sleeping I let them know that I am at peace. I have my family surrounding me. The boys head outside while Marty prepares for work.
And suddenly Paul races in all flush with excitement. Mom? Mom???? He pantomimes a face shield and helment and then mounts a motorcycle and I understand. Marty has ridden in and Paul is beside himself in the fascination of his father and the fact that a motorcycle has been in the garage.
Ahh, the sense of discovery is just so joyful. And I'm grateful and humbled by my family here as well as scattered about this nation (and in Ireland).
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Saturday
Sorry to be a couple of days between posts. We've been simply being a family.
Its funny, I continue to be amazed at the kids. I "told" on Paul when Marty got home from work for not picking up his things the other night and Marty looked at him and exclaimed.
"What? You didn't pick up your toys? No!!! You didn't do that, did you?"
He looked blank and confused. Then his eyes danced. The corners of his mouth quivered into a grin. And then he was beaming.
"You are SOOOOOO busted buddy" I told him. We'd heard while in Ethiopia that some of the older kids in the orphanage had passed along the information to "play dumb" to get away with things and to be able to do/get what you want. He's normal! :o)
Yesterday Marty had a meeting at work so I was here with all the children (Sarah and Andy included). We all ended up squeezing into the van (Andy between the two high-backed booster car seats in the back) and went to McDonald's. I deliberately picked between 10:30-11 so that we could miss a lot of the ruckus. We made sure everyone had shoes with socks so nobody was excluded.
And we ended up having a LARGE time. Even Julia who has never been too interested in climbing was convinced eventually to head up to the top and go down the slide (sandwiched between a brother and sister) with squeals of glee. She then proceeded to a table and pointed deliberately at the empty top. This gal means business.
So Sarah and I went to order just basic food (burgers) and Julia made sure we got the order right. She didn't ever fully return to play once we had food. The boys would stop and grab a bite or two then take off again. Mary? She simply wanted to be able to sip something cool and wet every so often - I'm not sure she ever took a bite. After about an hour and a half they were tired but happy.
Late yesterday afternoon we went to take a walk. Marty, Andy, and Paul took the three dogs to the bike trail for the longer version while Sarah and I took the girls and Sam around the "loop" where we planned on stopping at the playground. Sam has a habit of if something isn't going exactly as he desires he pulled the potty card. He asked me to carry him. We were three houses down. I explained that a walk means we should walk.
Twenty seconds later I was told that he was in dire need of bathroom facilities. It was urgent. We head back and Sarah and the girls continue. Of course we get home and he opens the door with such force as I have a dent in the drywall with chipped paint and he races to the bathroom to emerge . . . seven seconds later. He's normal too!
Yesterday evening we celebrated Sheryl's birthday, almost a month late. She was actually on a trip out of town with Mike when her birthday occurred and then we were preparing for Ethiopia when she returned . . . but this is her first Phillipson birthday and I wanted to make sure she felt welcomed with a cake . . . and the children more than agreed. The boys think it is a nice tradition. We had to relight the cake to allow Sheryl a chance to blow her own candles and it was simply fun.
Then Paul discovered we owned a Wii. We don't utilize it weekly - but it is something that we do for entertainment as a family. We bowled. Everyone got a turn and it was simply fun. We also had to do the game where you race while riding cows (you don't have to push a button) and it was a hoot especially when Paul and Sam were racing. Any attempt to guide them or assist was met with definite resistance! What fun.
Our first week is over. We had once instance where we caught Julia deliberately scratching and I was amazed at her attack on Mary for something she perceived Samuel to have done (Sam removed a toy from the couch that she and Mary were sitting on so Julia protested and attacked Mary). I had not seen this behavior since Julia first came home and although the children had reported it to me, I did not want to believe it was happening and certainly not to the degree I witnessed.
But we'll get through it.
Let me run. The boys are awake and I'd like to attempt to allow the girls, Marty, and the grown kids the possibility of being able to get more rest this morning. We need a sound-proof room for that to happen!
Its funny, I continue to be amazed at the kids. I "told" on Paul when Marty got home from work for not picking up his things the other night and Marty looked at him and exclaimed.
"What? You didn't pick up your toys? No!!! You didn't do that, did you?"
He looked blank and confused. Then his eyes danced. The corners of his mouth quivered into a grin. And then he was beaming.
"You are SOOOOOO busted buddy" I told him. We'd heard while in Ethiopia that some of the older kids in the orphanage had passed along the information to "play dumb" to get away with things and to be able to do/get what you want. He's normal! :o)
Yesterday Marty had a meeting at work so I was here with all the children (Sarah and Andy included). We all ended up squeezing into the van (Andy between the two high-backed booster car seats in the back) and went to McDonald's. I deliberately picked between 10:30-11 so that we could miss a lot of the ruckus. We made sure everyone had shoes with socks so nobody was excluded.
And we ended up having a LARGE time. Even Julia who has never been too interested in climbing was convinced eventually to head up to the top and go down the slide (sandwiched between a brother and sister) with squeals of glee. She then proceeded to a table and pointed deliberately at the empty top. This gal means business.
So Sarah and I went to order just basic food (burgers) and Julia made sure we got the order right. She didn't ever fully return to play once we had food. The boys would stop and grab a bite or two then take off again. Mary? She simply wanted to be able to sip something cool and wet every so often - I'm not sure she ever took a bite. After about an hour and a half they were tired but happy.
Late yesterday afternoon we went to take a walk. Marty, Andy, and Paul took the three dogs to the bike trail for the longer version while Sarah and I took the girls and Sam around the "loop" where we planned on stopping at the playground. Sam has a habit of if something isn't going exactly as he desires he pulled the potty card. He asked me to carry him. We were three houses down. I explained that a walk means we should walk.
Twenty seconds later I was told that he was in dire need of bathroom facilities. It was urgent. We head back and Sarah and the girls continue. Of course we get home and he opens the door with such force as I have a dent in the drywall with chipped paint and he races to the bathroom to emerge . . . seven seconds later. He's normal too!
Yesterday evening we celebrated Sheryl's birthday, almost a month late. She was actually on a trip out of town with Mike when her birthday occurred and then we were preparing for Ethiopia when she returned . . . but this is her first Phillipson birthday and I wanted to make sure she felt welcomed with a cake . . . and the children more than agreed. The boys think it is a nice tradition. We had to relight the cake to allow Sheryl a chance to blow her own candles and it was simply fun.
Then Paul discovered we owned a Wii. We don't utilize it weekly - but it is something that we do for entertainment as a family. We bowled. Everyone got a turn and it was simply fun. We also had to do the game where you race while riding cows (you don't have to push a button) and it was a hoot especially when Paul and Sam were racing. Any attempt to guide them or assist was met with definite resistance! What fun.
Our first week is over. We had once instance where we caught Julia deliberately scratching and I was amazed at her attack on Mary for something she perceived Samuel to have done (Sam removed a toy from the couch that she and Mary were sitting on so Julia protested and attacked Mary). I had not seen this behavior since Julia first came home and although the children had reported it to me, I did not want to believe it was happening and certainly not to the degree I witnessed.
But we'll get through it.
Let me run. The boys are awake and I'd like to attempt to allow the girls, Marty, and the grown kids the possibility of being able to get more rest this morning. We need a sound-proof room for that to happen!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Mean Mama
Well I guess the honeymoon is over.
I'm exhausted. The boys are allowing me some more sleep but they are going through the house and things like a wrecking crew. I've been more than patient I believe. I have explained and I KNOW that they understand about picking up.
And the thing is if you say . . .
Go upstairs and take off your shoes and socks, put on pajamas and your robe and then sit at the table for a treat - they will be waiting in the appropriate manner expectantly.
But if you say . . . pick up these toys - there is a blank stare or simply you are ignored altogether as if you have not spoken at all. Not a "huh?" or anything. I told them that if they didn't get them put away I would take them away. They laugh. Heck, there are PLENTY more toys available. Well, there WERE.
As I said, I'm tired. Over the past three days I've gathered up toys that have caused fights as well as those left for me to trip over or pick up because they have moved on to something else. Many are outside on the back porch, some in a Rubbermaid tote.
I have Sarah and Andy coming tomorrow night (my oldest daughter and son-in-law) and they will be staying in the basement which is also a large playroom. It has a futon, fireplace, large screen TV along with DVD, stereo, etc. It has its own bathroom. It is a virtual fantastic kids area and has the majority of toys (soon to be MAJOR as in 95%+).
I have warned that the time for clean-up is coming. I have warned that the toys will be removed. Now true, Mary and Julia know that when the "mean mama" voice is enacted you'd better beware.
So Paul has to defecate. Sam has to urinate. They race off with a toy upstairs. I tell them I am not happy and they giggle. I haul them downstairs to assist so I can SHOW them how nicely things can go in the colored bins and they double up on the wonder-horse with glee and then act like they haven't a clue.
Fine. I banned them from downstairs. I told them we were family and if they could not help as a unit get things ready then they lose the ability to be able to play down there for two days. I was cleaning their mess.
I feel better. And from their mood they could not care any less. They stated at the top of the stairs and Paul would get Samuel to race down to check our progress and announce himself then race back up to report.
And that is fine by me. I'm not wanting them sad or hurt. I'm simply wanting not to be the maid. I know, I know it goes with motherhood but I'm not talking about a vacuum/mop/dust/laundry/meal preparation strike. If we have so many toys they cannot be managed then maybe we have simply too many.
End of lecture!
I'm exhausted. The boys are allowing me some more sleep but they are going through the house and things like a wrecking crew. I've been more than patient I believe. I have explained and I KNOW that they understand about picking up.
And the thing is if you say . . .
Go upstairs and take off your shoes and socks, put on pajamas and your robe and then sit at the table for a treat - they will be waiting in the appropriate manner expectantly.
But if you say . . . pick up these toys - there is a blank stare or simply you are ignored altogether as if you have not spoken at all. Not a "huh?" or anything. I told them that if they didn't get them put away I would take them away. They laugh. Heck, there are PLENTY more toys available. Well, there WERE.
As I said, I'm tired. Over the past three days I've gathered up toys that have caused fights as well as those left for me to trip over or pick up because they have moved on to something else. Many are outside on the back porch, some in a Rubbermaid tote.
I have Sarah and Andy coming tomorrow night (my oldest daughter and son-in-law) and they will be staying in the basement which is also a large playroom. It has a futon, fireplace, large screen TV along with DVD, stereo, etc. It has its own bathroom. It is a virtual fantastic kids area and has the majority of toys (soon to be MAJOR as in 95%+).
I have warned that the time for clean-up is coming. I have warned that the toys will be removed. Now true, Mary and Julia know that when the "mean mama" voice is enacted you'd better beware.
So Paul has to defecate. Sam has to urinate. They race off with a toy upstairs. I tell them I am not happy and they giggle. I haul them downstairs to assist so I can SHOW them how nicely things can go in the colored bins and they double up on the wonder-horse with glee and then act like they haven't a clue.
Fine. I banned them from downstairs. I told them we were family and if they could not help as a unit get things ready then they lose the ability to be able to play down there for two days. I was cleaning their mess.
I feel better. And from their mood they could not care any less. They stated at the top of the stairs and Paul would get Samuel to race down to check our progress and announce himself then race back up to report.
And that is fine by me. I'm not wanting them sad or hurt. I'm simply wanting not to be the maid. I know, I know it goes with motherhood but I'm not talking about a vacuum/mop/dust/laundry/meal preparation strike. If we have so many toys they cannot be managed then maybe we have simply too many.
End of lecture!
Divas, DVDs and Drudgery
It is so interesting having my sons home. They are into EVERYTHING and while not intentionally destructive, they don't seem to know limitations. Much to Mary's chagrin, they don't know about such things as possessiveness. She has readily shared all she has but it drives her NUTS when Paul wears Samuel's clothes and vice versa. They simply don't know. They don't care. They are pleased to have clothes to wear and will pick up something that peaks their interest and proudly put it on. Who cares of jeans land below the knees or five inches below the ankle? What if the sleeves of a shirt hang past the fingers or if raising your arms exposes four inches of skin? They are happy. Mary announces each fashion faux paus with clarity and I try to explain to her that they don't care. SHE DOES! It's a hoot most of the time. In all actuality Paul will be in his soccer outfit or his sweats once he realizes one is clean - soccer is preferred but sweats are warmer.
We have started the use of DVDs on this rainy day. Before I had only used it in the van but its rainy here now and outside activity is curtailed. Paul adores Veggie Tales. He just emerged from the basement with his arms loaded with probably 15 DVDs . . . all Veggie Tales. I'm not huge on cartoons all the time but for something with a good message to convey I'm all for it. We'll limit the time spent in front of them but after the fifth dog yelp because of being hit with the Tonka truck (being ridden on) maybe some Veggie Tale time vegging out in front of the TV may be just exactly what the doctor ordered. We have about an hour before getting Mary ready for school and I'm thinking we may attempt a picnic lunch in the floor today.
Naaaaah, I'm not that cool yet. I'll keep my mind/heart open though.
Screams from the hallway - need to scoot. :o)
We have started the use of DVDs on this rainy day. Before I had only used it in the van but its rainy here now and outside activity is curtailed. Paul adores Veggie Tales. He just emerged from the basement with his arms loaded with probably 15 DVDs . . . all Veggie Tales. I'm not huge on cartoons all the time but for something with a good message to convey I'm all for it. We'll limit the time spent in front of them but after the fifth dog yelp because of being hit with the Tonka truck (being ridden on) maybe some Veggie Tale time vegging out in front of the TV may be just exactly what the doctor ordered. We have about an hour before getting Mary ready for school and I'm thinking we may attempt a picnic lunch in the floor today.
Naaaaah, I'm not that cool yet. I'll keep my mind/heart open though.
Screams from the hallway - need to scoot. :o)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Paul school update
Today at lunch Mary was chatting about school. Paul didn't seem distressed but didn't seem that interested either. I asked him (once again) if he would like to go to school. He didn't immediately answer but he eventually turned his face toward me and then looked PAST me and wagged his finger . . . "No."
I told him that it would be just fine to stay home. He doesn't have to push himself to be in class at this point. He could stay home and we'd still go to school to take MARY, but then he'd be coming home with me. He seemed to relax.
And true to my word as we got to the school I parked on the street (further from the building) and warned the kids to stay put, locked the van, and then went inside with Mary. We talked with the principal who was more than understanding and then went to their classroom. It was offered that Paul could come if/when he wanted and stay for a partial class if he'd like. They are so open and understanding. Furthermore Ms. B walked out with me to the van, said "Hello" to Paul and they exchanged a "high five" as well. He seemed to exhale deeply when we pulled away and I was able to show him that I wasn't blowing smoke at him.
Pick-up went just fine and Mary returned with work for Paul in her backpack. He can do whatever class projects on his own at home and turn them in through his sister so that when he does come back he won't be left out or behind. His work/projects will be there with the rest of his classmates/future friends.
All right!!
I told him that it would be just fine to stay home. He doesn't have to push himself to be in class at this point. He could stay home and we'd still go to school to take MARY, but then he'd be coming home with me. He seemed to relax.
And true to my word as we got to the school I parked on the street (further from the building) and warned the kids to stay put, locked the van, and then went inside with Mary. We talked with the principal who was more than understanding and then went to their classroom. It was offered that Paul could come if/when he wanted and stay for a partial class if he'd like. They are so open and understanding. Furthermore Ms. B walked out with me to the van, said "Hello" to Paul and they exchanged a "high five" as well. He seemed to exhale deeply when we pulled away and I was able to show him that I wasn't blowing smoke at him.
Pick-up went just fine and Mary returned with work for Paul in her backpack. He can do whatever class projects on his own at home and turn them in through his sister so that when he does come back he won't be left out or behind. His work/projects will be there with the rest of his classmates/future friends.
All right!!
Wednesday morning
We have a breakthrough. While Samuel has been a "dog convert" for a bit Paul has remained reticent about accepting canine companions. He'll walk with them while they are on the leash but is timid when approached. He has made progress daily though.
Last night for the first time we did not put the dog gates up. We left the bathroom light on so they wouldn't trip over their bulk in the night (we've always left it on for them anyway). We slept until about 5:30 this morning which is acceptable to me. We had very short naps yesterday.
The dogs of course were calm. Paul indicated his understanding that they were safely locked in the garage and I told him they were in our bedroom with Daddy. He doubted me. He checked the garage. He tentatively stepped out and confirmed my statement. We went down the hallway to peek in our room and sure enough, the bodies were draped on the carpeting. He seemed surprised to see them at rest as they are usually fired up since they are just being let in or out.
After Marty had left for work, the skies appeared overcast and there was a sprinkling of raindrops here or there. I let the dogs back in. The kids dashed outside and took various dog toys. After one initial retreat by Paul he decided that although they can be overwhelming - they are also pretty neat.
He has since learned to groom and takes great pains to comb and brush. He can command "sit" and is gentle and thorough. The dogs adore the attention. Paul can command their actions.
One more hurdle cleared. Comfort has been established.
Splish splash
Its hard to write this post. With adoption there are uncertainties. With parenting there are uncertainties.
Especially when you introduce boys in with your girls there are warnings to watch carefully and to look for signs of molestation in both the boys (as victims or predators) and guard the children at home. I will be a mother to all my children and protect them all from harm to the best of my ability.
I had pondered about how I would assume the role of mother to boys. I had not dealt with boys before. I wasn't sure how to handle assisting with bathroom habits or bathing or such. Would they be embarrassed? Should I defer to Marty? What about the girls with the boys? How can I be Mama with limitations?
Well Samuel who is wearing between an 18 month and a 2T arrived from the orphanage in 4T pants. This isn't at all to complain as they were clean and loved and well-cared for, but simply to convey how terribly large the pants were on him and he looked like one of those teens with the droopy pants except that he didn't have underwear on to reveal to the world. We began searching our stash of clothing immediately upon coming to the guest house in Ethipia to see what we had that may be appropriate. He noticed our activity and stripped naked immediately in the bedroom. That set the stage for our embarrassment level around them. They readily shower/change in front of me and nakedness is simply that - the lack of clothes and not a source for shame or even curiosity.
Last night Samuel went to time out for spitting out his Jello in the floor and as I went to get him back out I stopped to run a bubble bath. The kids were covered in chalk dust and I thought I'd simply start with him. He was NOT happy with the bubbles and kept trying to simply stand in the tub and attempting a quick cleansing with his hands and looking for the shower as we've done before. Mary and Julia were immediately in the room and stripping before I could stop them. Julia was trying to climb in with her diaper on and Mary was scooping up the bubbles and sculpting a beard. Samuel wasn't happy still and any attempt to have him sit was not greeted warmly. The girls were situated happily and they began pouring from cups and pitchers in the tub and I was trying to show Sam how the "paper dolls" could be utilized by sticking them on the tile. I feel a hand on my shoulder and Paul is bracing himself to step in as well.
I have to laugh as he scoops up the bubbles playfully and grabs the cups and is mesmerized by the water. Samuel immediately changes his tune and is giggling. Paul reverts suddenly to caregiver and begins to bath his siblings. Mary isn't sure of it. He pours a cup of water of Julia's head which she doesn't like. Her protests are met with yet another dousing. The splashing begins and suddenly they are all attempting to swim. I call to Marty to get the camera (he finds his) and I'll upload that one as well.
And suddenly, black/white - boy/girl just dissipates. These are simply children, MY children. I will watch and protect and guide but they are simply children that are enjoying their first bath. Paul told me that he'd never done that before. I reminded him of his immersion at Pewee and Rosie's house with the fish yesterday and he beams and laughs. He liked this one better. He thinks he'll prefer to bathe now.
Ahh the simple delights in life.
Especially when you introduce boys in with your girls there are warnings to watch carefully and to look for signs of molestation in both the boys (as victims or predators) and guard the children at home. I will be a mother to all my children and protect them all from harm to the best of my ability.
I had pondered about how I would assume the role of mother to boys. I had not dealt with boys before. I wasn't sure how to handle assisting with bathroom habits or bathing or such. Would they be embarrassed? Should I defer to Marty? What about the girls with the boys? How can I be Mama with limitations?
Well Samuel who is wearing between an 18 month and a 2T arrived from the orphanage in 4T pants. This isn't at all to complain as they were clean and loved and well-cared for, but simply to convey how terribly large the pants were on him and he looked like one of those teens with the droopy pants except that he didn't have underwear on to reveal to the world. We began searching our stash of clothing immediately upon coming to the guest house in Ethipia to see what we had that may be appropriate. He noticed our activity and stripped naked immediately in the bedroom. That set the stage for our embarrassment level around them. They readily shower/change in front of me and nakedness is simply that - the lack of clothes and not a source for shame or even curiosity.
Last night Samuel went to time out for spitting out his Jello in the floor and as I went to get him back out I stopped to run a bubble bath. The kids were covered in chalk dust and I thought I'd simply start with him. He was NOT happy with the bubbles and kept trying to simply stand in the tub and attempting a quick cleansing with his hands and looking for the shower as we've done before. Mary and Julia were immediately in the room and stripping before I could stop them. Julia was trying to climb in with her diaper on and Mary was scooping up the bubbles and sculpting a beard. Samuel wasn't happy still and any attempt to have him sit was not greeted warmly. The girls were situated happily and they began pouring from cups and pitchers in the tub and I was trying to show Sam how the "paper dolls" could be utilized by sticking them on the tile. I feel a hand on my shoulder and Paul is bracing himself to step in as well.
I have to laugh as he scoops up the bubbles playfully and grabs the cups and is mesmerized by the water. Samuel immediately changes his tune and is giggling. Paul reverts suddenly to caregiver and begins to bath his siblings. Mary isn't sure of it. He pours a cup of water of Julia's head which she doesn't like. Her protests are met with yet another dousing. The splashing begins and suddenly they are all attempting to swim. I call to Marty to get the camera (he finds his) and I'll upload that one as well.
And suddenly, black/white - boy/girl just dissipates. These are simply children, MY children. I will watch and protect and guide but they are simply children that are enjoying their first bath. Paul told me that he'd never done that before. I reminded him of his immersion at Pewee and Rosie's house with the fish yesterday and he beams and laughs. He liked this one better. He thinks he'll prefer to bathe now.
Ahh the simple delights in life.
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