We received a call from Zor Temple today . . . the Shriner's in Madison that arrange our marvelous transportation from Janesville to Chicago each time Julia has an appointment at the Cleft Clinic at Shriner's Hospital. It is a marvelous service (I love each team member but Lee has an especially special place in my heart) as well as a phenomenal hospital.
Well, they have an awareness campaign over the University of Wisconsin campuses where the Shriner's are present at games and they have a flyer and try to highlight a child that has been affected by their outreach.
Would we consider allowing Julia to be a "princess" for the University of Wisconsin - Whitewater??? For those of you that do not realize, this is Marty's Alma mater!! We need to submit a short biography and can have her picture (or not). She may be part of a presentation.
It is 11/08/08 at Whitewater (about 13 miles from where we live) with a noon kickoff. How cool is that??
I ended up talking extensively with Lisa, the woman who called, because somehow we talked of how we had just returned from Ethiopia and she was supposed to have done a mission trip there next month (she could not afford the airfare though as it was a last minute notification).
So if anyone is going to see the UW-Whitewater game on 11/08/08, we'll be there. Poor Marty doesn't know anything about it yet, I felt confident that this was something that I didn't need to run by him first. It seems that I'm always filling up his "off" days with activities, but this is one that should be fantastic for the whole family. Whooo hoooo!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
family dynamics
You know, sometimes I can blind myself to the truth. I tell myself that I haven't gained THAT much weight or that my gray hair is simply a sprinkling . . .
Or that my daughters would not be the instigator for disharmony in our family household.
Let me back this up. When we first arrived home with Julia she was a firecracker. She was less than 20 pounds and could have Mary cowering on the bed (where Julia could not climb) because she could break skin with her bites and was quite adept at hitting and pinching (as my cheeks can attest to). Through time and especially as Julia learned to speak/sign she was less frustrated and she and Mary developed a close sisterly relationship. They can still fight with passion but not physically.
Well there have been more incidents of late. Paul isn't always the compromising compliant playmate he was when he arrived (good for YOU, son). He doesn't always allow Mary to dictate what activity they will participate in and who is going to do exactly what and for how long. He will shout "NO" and either attach Mary or Julia's name. He can tease his siblings (Samuel included, ESPECIALLY Samuel included) and even mimic Julia's speech which I have not yet addressed as she doesn't seem to realize that he is laughing AT her. Sam? Sam is a scrapper and although his is much more of a wailer than fighter, he is not above hitting, shoving, kicking, or spitting. I have also caught him tattling on his sister when she was not even in the same area as him.
So when they boys kept tattling repeatedly (over 100 times a day) and mainly it was directed at Julia I at first was skeptical that she could be inflicting the injuries that she was being assigned blame for and I am frankly sick and tired of hearing " Mom?" and being expected to immediately stop whatever I am doing to go watch the pantomime of the offensive behavior and have her name assigned. I have used "time out" for both the culprit as well as the tattletale. I have ignored the behavior to try to discourage tattling as I have not witnessed the behavior and don't want to let a child get power-hungry for the ability to fabricate an offense to have control of removing a sibling from play.
But my eyes are open. Today we were outside and I was scooping dog poop and removing my long-dead hanging baskets and Paul sits down on the children's swing. Mary of course joins him and then Samuel joins her to completely fill this supposedly two-seat contraption. Julia approaches, squeals, and launches an attack or Samuel's head. I was appalled. I was dumbfounded.
I was guilty.
Samuel has been the most attention-seeking of the four children at home. He causes the most commotion and turmoil and has the most tantrums and such. His squeal can be heard at any time and often you cannot tell if he is doing his "fake cry" for attention or really in distress.
And here Julia is pommeling his head.
Furthermore during our speech therapy session Julia baited her brother. She extended a hand to offer a token gift and when he reached for it she shrieked and struck at him. Her blow did not land but I was taken aback at her actions. And yet later in the session she positioned herself to kick him and shrieked when he was simply . . . there. We stopped the therapy twice for her to lament the situation.
And I didn't give Samuel the benefit of the doubt for all his tattling. He has made it up that I know of twice but I have probably overlooked far, far, far more. No wonder he's been cranky! I'd be cranky too!! I knew that Julia was having trouble adjusting but I was allowing her the power to intimidate her older brothers.
So I'm trying to find that balance of not allowing myself to become referee yet teaching the kids to work out their differences without interfering. How do you do that?
I can't always be watching closely with needing to prepare meals and wash dishes and clean house/do laundry. But I need to be more watchful and maybe do some of the other tasks while they sleep.
I'm so sorry Samuel. I feel like I let him down because he was trying to tell me . . . shoot he DID tell me and I ignored him. Yet he seems to forgive me my imperfections and embrace that I have finally SEEN the situation.
Just another reason to love my children. I am supposed to be teaching them, but they are sure teaching me what I feel is so much more.
Or that my daughters would not be the instigator for disharmony in our family household.
Let me back this up. When we first arrived home with Julia she was a firecracker. She was less than 20 pounds and could have Mary cowering on the bed (where Julia could not climb) because she could break skin with her bites and was quite adept at hitting and pinching (as my cheeks can attest to). Through time and especially as Julia learned to speak/sign she was less frustrated and she and Mary developed a close sisterly relationship. They can still fight with passion but not physically.
Well there have been more incidents of late. Paul isn't always the compromising compliant playmate he was when he arrived (good for YOU, son). He doesn't always allow Mary to dictate what activity they will participate in and who is going to do exactly what and for how long. He will shout "NO" and either attach Mary or Julia's name. He can tease his siblings (Samuel included, ESPECIALLY Samuel included) and even mimic Julia's speech which I have not yet addressed as she doesn't seem to realize that he is laughing AT her. Sam? Sam is a scrapper and although his is much more of a wailer than fighter, he is not above hitting, shoving, kicking, or spitting. I have also caught him tattling on his sister when she was not even in the same area as him.
So when they boys kept tattling repeatedly (over 100 times a day) and mainly it was directed at Julia I at first was skeptical that she could be inflicting the injuries that she was being assigned blame for and I am frankly sick and tired of hearing " Mom?" and being expected to immediately stop whatever I am doing to go watch the pantomime of the offensive behavior and have her name assigned. I have used "time out" for both the culprit as well as the tattletale. I have ignored the behavior to try to discourage tattling as I have not witnessed the behavior and don't want to let a child get power-hungry for the ability to fabricate an offense to have control of removing a sibling from play.
But my eyes are open. Today we were outside and I was scooping dog poop and removing my long-dead hanging baskets and Paul sits down on the children's swing. Mary of course joins him and then Samuel joins her to completely fill this supposedly two-seat contraption. Julia approaches, squeals, and launches an attack or Samuel's head. I was appalled. I was dumbfounded.
I was guilty.
Samuel has been the most attention-seeking of the four children at home. He causes the most commotion and turmoil and has the most tantrums and such. His squeal can be heard at any time and often you cannot tell if he is doing his "fake cry" for attention or really in distress.
And here Julia is pommeling his head.
Furthermore during our speech therapy session Julia baited her brother. She extended a hand to offer a token gift and when he reached for it she shrieked and struck at him. Her blow did not land but I was taken aback at her actions. And yet later in the session she positioned herself to kick him and shrieked when he was simply . . . there. We stopped the therapy twice for her to lament the situation.
And I didn't give Samuel the benefit of the doubt for all his tattling. He has made it up that I know of twice but I have probably overlooked far, far, far more. No wonder he's been cranky! I'd be cranky too!! I knew that Julia was having trouble adjusting but I was allowing her the power to intimidate her older brothers.
So I'm trying to find that balance of not allowing myself to become referee yet teaching the kids to work out their differences without interfering. How do you do that?
I can't always be watching closely with needing to prepare meals and wash dishes and clean house/do laundry. But I need to be more watchful and maybe do some of the other tasks while they sleep.
I'm so sorry Samuel. I feel like I let him down because he was trying to tell me . . . shoot he DID tell me and I ignored him. Yet he seems to forgive me my imperfections and embrace that I have finally SEEN the situation.
Just another reason to love my children. I am supposed to be teaching them, but they are sure teaching me what I feel is so much more.
Solomon
I hesitated even sharing this post. It is not something that I have ever done before or will likely do again. I was on the way to picking up Paul and Mary from school and noticed a man walking along the rural Highway. Something about him peaked my interested. Maybe the fact that he was a black man in this homogenous (white) area or his shock of white hair. He was not hitchhiking and carried a backpack - the camping type. I looked for a vehicle but somehow knew that he was a traveler and not stranded. From within I knew that I needed to offer assistance. I began praying. I picked up the two oldest children and began the approximately six mile journey back home.
Now I needed to run to the store (out of bananas again as well as needing a giant fruit-fix) so was planning on heading into Jefferson (our county seat) to the nearest grocery anyway. I began to explain to the children that I felt led to ask if I could assist this man. Now I know all the dangers and perils and that I could have been leading my children into a potentially dangerous situation but I could not deny the urging coming from within. As I approached the area where I had seen the man I noted that there was not any car behind me (not exactly unusual in that it is a rural area). I did not immediately see him and was feeling relieved that he had already received a ride (certainly he did not stop as there is NOTHING but a few farms scattered) and suddenly he came into view. I continued praying and pulled over.
The man was appreciative of the offer and initially tried to open the door to the back and I had him sit in the passenger seat. We introduced ourselves and through a very distinct and familiar accent I learned my guest's name was Solomon. A beautiful Biblical name -no? And I just had to ask.
And where is Solomon from? You knew probably as soon as I did. Solomon is from Ethiopia. He has been in America for four years and five months. He is traveling our country to see everything that he can and experience as much as possible before settling down. He is a nomad on a journey of epic proportions. He detailed his journeys in a booming voice with such joy and animation. I learned of his stops and how he has seen my country in ways that I could only dream of. He works at factories or for individuals for a period of time to collect enough money to push on to the next leg. He was currently traveling from Milwaukee to Madison, Wisconsin. I told him that I was headed to Jefferson and could take him that far and he was grateful.
We talked of our recent trip to his country and he was pleased to see our sons in their car seats. When he spoke to them in Amharic - they refused to respond. I had noticed this even on our return flights home that they would withdraw when spoken to often and if they DID respond, it would be in very soft replies or simply with the eyebrow-raise or the sharp intake of breath. Solomon asked what their birth names were and commented (like Helen) that they were most probably from the Tigray (Tigre) region of Ethiopia and then told me more of the region and the people.
The highway was closed in two different sections in Jefferson and I knew it, so I took Solomon further than he asked to alleviate him from having to maneuver the long detour. Julia had decided that this man talked too loud and had begun holding her ears and protesting.
After Solomon left my children returned to their normal post-nap/school state and we continued on our way for refreshments and such. Its funny how once your eyes are opened that you find your lives touched in so very many ways. I have thought of Solomon often today and wondered if he reached his next destination yet. He's been to 23 states so far and that is . . . he has experienced them. He laughed at people he has met that fly back and forth between destinations. He is a free spirit with a zest for adventure and happy to simply have the experience and ability to be able to embrace life. I wish I could be more like him - rather than lamenting having to vacuum a third time during the day, appreciate that I have a home, vacuum, and the children and pets to make the task necessary.
In so very many ways Solomon is so very wise. He isn't building up his treasures here on earth - he's spreading his joy. He tells me maybe in a few more years he will head back to Florida where he believes he will make his home.
I feel richer just from our 1/2 hour encounter.
Now I needed to run to the store (out of bananas again as well as needing a giant fruit-fix) so was planning on heading into Jefferson (our county seat) to the nearest grocery anyway. I began to explain to the children that I felt led to ask if I could assist this man. Now I know all the dangers and perils and that I could have been leading my children into a potentially dangerous situation but I could not deny the urging coming from within. As I approached the area where I had seen the man I noted that there was not any car behind me (not exactly unusual in that it is a rural area). I did not immediately see him and was feeling relieved that he had already received a ride (certainly he did not stop as there is NOTHING but a few farms scattered) and suddenly he came into view. I continued praying and pulled over.
The man was appreciative of the offer and initially tried to open the door to the back and I had him sit in the passenger seat. We introduced ourselves and through a very distinct and familiar accent I learned my guest's name was Solomon. A beautiful Biblical name -no? And I just had to ask.
And where is Solomon from? You knew probably as soon as I did. Solomon is from Ethiopia. He has been in America for four years and five months. He is traveling our country to see everything that he can and experience as much as possible before settling down. He is a nomad on a journey of epic proportions. He detailed his journeys in a booming voice with such joy and animation. I learned of his stops and how he has seen my country in ways that I could only dream of. He works at factories or for individuals for a period of time to collect enough money to push on to the next leg. He was currently traveling from Milwaukee to Madison, Wisconsin. I told him that I was headed to Jefferson and could take him that far and he was grateful.
We talked of our recent trip to his country and he was pleased to see our sons in their car seats. When he spoke to them in Amharic - they refused to respond. I had noticed this even on our return flights home that they would withdraw when spoken to often and if they DID respond, it would be in very soft replies or simply with the eyebrow-raise or the sharp intake of breath. Solomon asked what their birth names were and commented (like Helen) that they were most probably from the Tigray (Tigre) region of Ethiopia and then told me more of the region and the people.
The highway was closed in two different sections in Jefferson and I knew it, so I took Solomon further than he asked to alleviate him from having to maneuver the long detour. Julia had decided that this man talked too loud and had begun holding her ears and protesting.
After Solomon left my children returned to their normal post-nap/school state and we continued on our way for refreshments and such. Its funny how once your eyes are opened that you find your lives touched in so very many ways. I have thought of Solomon often today and wondered if he reached his next destination yet. He's been to 23 states so far and that is . . . he has experienced them. He laughed at people he has met that fly back and forth between destinations. He is a free spirit with a zest for adventure and happy to simply have the experience and ability to be able to embrace life. I wish I could be more like him - rather than lamenting having to vacuum a third time during the day, appreciate that I have a home, vacuum, and the children and pets to make the task necessary.
In so very many ways Solomon is so very wise. He isn't building up his treasures here on earth - he's spreading his joy. He tells me maybe in a few more years he will head back to Florida where he believes he will make his home.
I feel richer just from our 1/2 hour encounter.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Two weeks home
Yesterday late evening marked our two week anniversary for being together as a family. Hehe - I guess for Samuel it was actually this morning since he slept through arriving home, being placed in his bed, and meeting his sisters - but it has now been two weeks.
Wow. So many changes. We have been so very blessed. Blessed by family and community that has embraced us. This weekend we spent a good bit of time going through the donations and presents of clothes and realize that we lack for NOTHING. Our children have so many nice, wonderful, stylish things. Paul is still amazed at the volume of clothes that are HIS. He doesn't have to share (although it is funny because if things are not earmarked specifically both boys will try to wear each others things and Sam swims in his clothes and Paul looks comical with capri-looking jeans). Its fine until Paul wears Sam's underwear and that gets a little uncomfortable.
Thursday morning Mike and Sheryl arrived with a laundry basket overflowing with gifts from Marty and Mike's church. There were glorious sunflowers and baked goodies as well as a complete dinner, clothes, even towels and brand new Packer's sweatshirts. It had a WalMart gift card as well as books and crayons and . . . oh so much. We have been welcomed into the family of church, community, and family and are humbled by the outreach.
Paul has become more a boy that the caregiver we first met. He can be sloppy and not put his things away (which we did NOT see before). I like this newer, more relaxed child. I may miss his not picking up his clothes but I do not miss feeling that he has a personal agenda that he needs to fulfill. He's a boy, a child. I am trying to find that balance between his striving for perfection and wanting to please everyone and simply letting him be a normal, active boy. He can aggravate the other kids mercilessly. His laugh is genuine. He delights in discovery. He screams like a girl - very high-pitched and it sounds very odd. He is scared of spiders and today was out-of-breath with discovering a snake (another fear). Marty went outside to discover an earthworm trying to make his way across the rain-covered driveway. I told Paul that worms are good and that I liked them for my garden and he could not hide his disgust at the very thought of such. Hehe. He has started school and loves it. His artwork is very meticulous and he draws arms, legs, feet, and faces which are happy. He rides the zip line at the school playground and we went after hours so that he could demonstrate his mastery. He chides Mary at her shall we say less accomplished penmanship, drawing skills, and especially her hesitancy regarding that zip line.
Samuel? Oh my goodness. We are seeing much progress with our youngest son. First of all Sam has an infectious smile and laugh and will use dance/gyrations to try to get out of sticky situations. He is a snuggler. He is a handful. His voice is at about the level of PeeWee Herman for those that remember him . . . very loud for this 26 pound wonder. He does not like being told what to do or especially "no" and will ignore anything he doesn't want to hear. When we first met Samuel he was very whiny and cried almost continually if he didn't get what he wanted (our digital camera, our video camera, anything food related or any object that he didn't currently have whether it was a computer, watch, toy, pen, etc.). It was harder getting close to Samuel at first because he was simply not very pleasant to be around with his constant screaming and tantrums. But that was the OLD Sam. We are still working out some kinks and bumps but Marty commented the other day that he thought Samuel was starting to "get" him. He is learning that crying isn't going to win him the prize he is coveting and that is hard to grasp after 3-1/2 years of it being a successful tool. With accentuating the positive traits (raising the toilet seat, listening after being told "no" 13 times, using words instead of wails and pointing) we have seen the neatest little guy emerging. He is delightful. He is affectionate. He is learning to accept that it is not "anything goes" anymore and is showing that he can try to seek acceptable behavior. I have started lying down with both Sam and Julia in our bed for afternoon nap and love that time to hold them close - he will fall asleep within minutes.
Both boys adore their baths. They are showing they have clothing preferences (Paul refused a Packer sweatshirt today much to Marty's chagrin). They are talking more and more in English and are teaching me more and more Amharic. They delight in seeing pictures from their orphanage and following the blogs of their friends they had from Ethiopia. They share the names of other children and tell me things about them (one little guy ate a spider, if they have a brother or sister, if they tease or are funny).
Their capacity to love is amazing. I get hugs and kisses freely and without asking. Marty's arrival home is a source of delight beyond imagination. He snuck in today and they spotted him and shrieked and chased him about the house before he was cornered with laughter and leaps and hugs and such.
And I'm reminded of how I'm told I'm doing such a marvelous things for these kids. Shoot - they lift my soul and inspire me. They mirror God's love and depth and mercy and joy. They teach me so much about myself as well as about hope and faith.
I have to repeat. I am the one blessed in this.
Blessings to all.
Wow. So many changes. We have been so very blessed. Blessed by family and community that has embraced us. This weekend we spent a good bit of time going through the donations and presents of clothes and realize that we lack for NOTHING. Our children have so many nice, wonderful, stylish things. Paul is still amazed at the volume of clothes that are HIS. He doesn't have to share (although it is funny because if things are not earmarked specifically both boys will try to wear each others things and Sam swims in his clothes and Paul looks comical with capri-looking jeans). Its fine until Paul wears Sam's underwear and that gets a little uncomfortable.
Thursday morning Mike and Sheryl arrived with a laundry basket overflowing with gifts from Marty and Mike's church. There were glorious sunflowers and baked goodies as well as a complete dinner, clothes, even towels and brand new Packer's sweatshirts. It had a WalMart gift card as well as books and crayons and . . . oh so much. We have been welcomed into the family of church, community, and family and are humbled by the outreach.
Paul has become more a boy that the caregiver we first met. He can be sloppy and not put his things away (which we did NOT see before). I like this newer, more relaxed child. I may miss his not picking up his clothes but I do not miss feeling that he has a personal agenda that he needs to fulfill. He's a boy, a child. I am trying to find that balance between his striving for perfection and wanting to please everyone and simply letting him be a normal, active boy. He can aggravate the other kids mercilessly. His laugh is genuine. He delights in discovery. He screams like a girl - very high-pitched and it sounds very odd. He is scared of spiders and today was out-of-breath with discovering a snake (another fear). Marty went outside to discover an earthworm trying to make his way across the rain-covered driveway. I told Paul that worms are good and that I liked them for my garden and he could not hide his disgust at the very thought of such. Hehe. He has started school and loves it. His artwork is very meticulous and he draws arms, legs, feet, and faces which are happy. He rides the zip line at the school playground and we went after hours so that he could demonstrate his mastery. He chides Mary at her shall we say less accomplished penmanship, drawing skills, and especially her hesitancy regarding that zip line.
Samuel? Oh my goodness. We are seeing much progress with our youngest son. First of all Sam has an infectious smile and laugh and will use dance/gyrations to try to get out of sticky situations. He is a snuggler. He is a handful. His voice is at about the level of PeeWee Herman for those that remember him . . . very loud for this 26 pound wonder. He does not like being told what to do or especially "no" and will ignore anything he doesn't want to hear. When we first met Samuel he was very whiny and cried almost continually if he didn't get what he wanted (our digital camera, our video camera, anything food related or any object that he didn't currently have whether it was a computer, watch, toy, pen, etc.). It was harder getting close to Samuel at first because he was simply not very pleasant to be around with his constant screaming and tantrums. But that was the OLD Sam. We are still working out some kinks and bumps but Marty commented the other day that he thought Samuel was starting to "get" him. He is learning that crying isn't going to win him the prize he is coveting and that is hard to grasp after 3-1/2 years of it being a successful tool. With accentuating the positive traits (raising the toilet seat, listening after being told "no" 13 times, using words instead of wails and pointing) we have seen the neatest little guy emerging. He is delightful. He is affectionate. He is learning to accept that it is not "anything goes" anymore and is showing that he can try to seek acceptable behavior. I have started lying down with both Sam and Julia in our bed for afternoon nap and love that time to hold them close - he will fall asleep within minutes.
Both boys adore their baths. They are showing they have clothing preferences (Paul refused a Packer sweatshirt today much to Marty's chagrin). They are talking more and more in English and are teaching me more and more Amharic. They delight in seeing pictures from their orphanage and following the blogs of their friends they had from Ethiopia. They share the names of other children and tell me things about them (one little guy ate a spider, if they have a brother or sister, if they tease or are funny).
Their capacity to love is amazing. I get hugs and kisses freely and without asking. Marty's arrival home is a source of delight beyond imagination. He snuck in today and they spotted him and shrieked and chased him about the house before he was cornered with laughter and leaps and hugs and such.
And I'm reminded of how I'm told I'm doing such a marvelous things for these kids. Shoot - they lift my soul and inspire me. They mirror God's love and depth and mercy and joy. They teach me so much about myself as well as about hope and faith.
I have to repeat. I am the one blessed in this.
Blessings to all.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Happy belated birthday - Marty
Wow. Another year and so many changes. One year ago on Marty's birthday first we crossed the international date line on our way home from China and he got some extra hours out of his special day, but then especially we landed in Los Angeles and Julia became an American citizen.
And this year we have not only Julia who doubled our number of children at home, but Paul and Samuel are with us already. Can you believe it?
And we haven't celebrated yet. I held the cards until sometime today. We're really pretty low key and a cake and ice cream signify the passage. I of course am happy because the 100 day age difference is now lessened by the fact that our ages "match" once again and all is right with the world.
I actually spent the morning we had designated for the zoo yesterday at the doctor's office because my eye infection is not getting better even with the prescription. I now have a combination treatment that I apply hourly while waking (one drop on even hours and the other on the odd hours). My eye was swollen/stuck shut again this morning but . . . we'll keep working on it. I'm just grateful that so far everyone else seems to be unaffected.
And the kids wore their Aunt Sheryl thin yesterday. She has never said they were horrid but I believe the term she used was "terrible" and that she will check caller ID before answering a phone call from me starting yesterday. Yowzer! She did add that Paul was the best one of the bunch. I'm sorry!!
We have rain this morning, the nice lazy slow rain that isn't yet the effects of Ike. No outing planned as I'm still pretty freakish-looking and its weepy. I have the baggies for the spent tissues and trying to contain any possible cross-contamination.
If it weren't raining I'd try to get some yard work done. As it is, I think I'll try getting a handle on either the girls' or boys' clothes and cull out the ones that are not currently fitting and find a PLACE for everything . . . so that each child knows what fits him/her. Poor Paul frequently wears Samuel's things I think simply for lack of knowing that there are clothes specifically for him alone. It doesn't really matter until I find him wearing 2T underwear and THAT can be a little constricting!!! :o)
We'll see about celebrating though. This is the first day since Labor Day that Marty hasn't had to go into work at least some of the day. We're showered and the children are rambunctious. Its a good kind though, we're still getting used to boys.
Of note, Julia and Mary slept in the top bunk together for the first time - I think because their brothers usually do in their room. They do emulate each other often.
I'm going to run. I'm showered and Marty is making breakfast although we've been up for hours. It has been marvelous just simply being family this lovely Saturday morning.
God bless.
And this year we have not only Julia who doubled our number of children at home, but Paul and Samuel are with us already. Can you believe it?
And we haven't celebrated yet. I held the cards until sometime today. We're really pretty low key and a cake and ice cream signify the passage. I of course am happy because the 100 day age difference is now lessened by the fact that our ages "match" once again and all is right with the world.
I actually spent the morning we had designated for the zoo yesterday at the doctor's office because my eye infection is not getting better even with the prescription. I now have a combination treatment that I apply hourly while waking (one drop on even hours and the other on the odd hours). My eye was swollen/stuck shut again this morning but . . . we'll keep working on it. I'm just grateful that so far everyone else seems to be unaffected.
And the kids wore their Aunt Sheryl thin yesterday. She has never said they were horrid but I believe the term she used was "terrible" and that she will check caller ID before answering a phone call from me starting yesterday. Yowzer! She did add that Paul was the best one of the bunch. I'm sorry!!
We have rain this morning, the nice lazy slow rain that isn't yet the effects of Ike. No outing planned as I'm still pretty freakish-looking and its weepy. I have the baggies for the spent tissues and trying to contain any possible cross-contamination.
If it weren't raining I'd try to get some yard work done. As it is, I think I'll try getting a handle on either the girls' or boys' clothes and cull out the ones that are not currently fitting and find a PLACE for everything . . . so that each child knows what fits him/her. Poor Paul frequently wears Samuel's things I think simply for lack of knowing that there are clothes specifically for him alone. It doesn't really matter until I find him wearing 2T underwear and THAT can be a little constricting!!! :o)
We'll see about celebrating though. This is the first day since Labor Day that Marty hasn't had to go into work at least some of the day. We're showered and the children are rambunctious. Its a good kind though, we're still getting used to boys.
Of note, Julia and Mary slept in the top bunk together for the first time - I think because their brothers usually do in their room. They do emulate each other often.
I'm going to run. I'm showered and Marty is making breakfast although we've been up for hours. It has been marvelous just simply being family this lovely Saturday morning.
God bless.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Purple
If you are blue with pink eye . . . does that make you purple? Yep, I got it again. What is weird is that this is exactly what happened last year when I returned from China. I made it through the trip okay and within a week had a raging case of pink eye.
Its better now . . . I have a TINY amount of eye drops that I'm using and will resort to the doctor if I just must. This morning I was just frustrated thinking . . . four kids in a waiting room? Four kids in an examining room? LOL!
Paul has asked twice if it is time for school (still the excited state, not fearful). We may try to eat EARLY and have pasta, THEN give the guys their bath before school. That should relax Samuel for his nap and then I can pry Paul out of his clothes. Funny guy dresses as he rises and if I don't hide his clothes from the evening before then they go right back on his body. Good for low laundry volumes . . . bad for mommy image at school! Haha!
On another positive note - we meet with our social worker tomorrow evening. She will officially gather the documents to begin the re adoption process. For those that are not familiar with Wisconsin law, although the adoption was finalized in Ethiopia - since we did not meet the boys prior to this happening (done by proxy) we now will RE-adopt in our state and then perform their final name change and citizenship procedures. Their names currently (as dictated by Ethiopian courts) are Abel Martin Phillipson and Tekleab Martin Phillipson (their birth first name, Marty's first name, our last name). After court they will be Paul Martin Phillipson and Samuel Michael Phillipson. They will get birth certificates. There will not be a need to continue keeping their adoption paperwork available at every turn.
Its not a huge deal for us but we will be able then to secure their citizenship and social security numbers in their final names. I hear them softly saying their names frequently . . . rolling off their tongue. Last night at the voting station a woman asked Paul "And what is your name?"
He said softly yet clearly "My name is Paul" and I wanted to cheer. Full sentences!
Its better now . . . I have a TINY amount of eye drops that I'm using and will resort to the doctor if I just must. This morning I was just frustrated thinking . . . four kids in a waiting room? Four kids in an examining room? LOL!
Paul has asked twice if it is time for school (still the excited state, not fearful). We may try to eat EARLY and have pasta, THEN give the guys their bath before school. That should relax Samuel for his nap and then I can pry Paul out of his clothes. Funny guy dresses as he rises and if I don't hide his clothes from the evening before then they go right back on his body. Good for low laundry volumes . . . bad for mommy image at school! Haha!
On another positive note - we meet with our social worker tomorrow evening. She will officially gather the documents to begin the re adoption process. For those that are not familiar with Wisconsin law, although the adoption was finalized in Ethiopia - since we did not meet the boys prior to this happening (done by proxy) we now will RE-adopt in our state and then perform their final name change and citizenship procedures. Their names currently (as dictated by Ethiopian courts) are Abel Martin Phillipson and Tekleab Martin Phillipson (their birth first name, Marty's first name, our last name). After court they will be Paul Martin Phillipson and Samuel Michael Phillipson. They will get birth certificates. There will not be a need to continue keeping their adoption paperwork available at every turn.
Its not a huge deal for us but we will be able then to secure their citizenship and social security numbers in their final names. I hear them softly saying their names frequently . . . rolling off their tongue. Last night at the voting station a woman asked Paul "And what is your name?"
He said softly yet clearly "My name is Paul" and I wanted to cheer. Full sentences!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
TriUMPH!
Paul made major strides today. He returned to school.
We weren't expecting it. We weren't pushing it . . . well, his sister Mary was but we were telling her to cool it. His book bag is still packed and ready and we allow him to peek but not to play around with the contents.
The school has been very understanding. They said to take as much time as needed. He has had encouragement and even allowed to do projects at home to be turned in for a reward sticker.
I don't ask "do you want to go TODAY?" I simply felt that after he faced his fears that first day I wasn't going to (at this point) push him. I think he pushed himself enough. I wasn't sure when I might start encouraging his return.
But today Mary came racing in and said "Paul said he wants to go to school today!" I didn't totally believe her. I didn't seek him out and ask him. I thought . . . let it be.
And sure enough, he verified Mary's position. He seemed excited. Their Aunt Sheryl came over to watch the little ones while I took them to school just in case he became overwhelmed again. I had been told I could stay as long as needed and he could leave with me when he returned. I didn't want Samuel and Julia sitting in the car - this needed to be about him.
So we pull in the circle drive and he starts a nervous whine/laugh/cry. I open the van door and he's out first but as Mary tries to exit, he acts like he's about to head back in the van. But its different this time. He is grinning like a Cheshire cat and its more of a nervous, excited state as opposed to being totally overwhelmed and shut down.
I tell him that he needs to simply come inside with me. He can leave immediately with me but he can wave to his schoolmates/friends/teachers. I can stay with him. I can leave. We can stay together as long as he wants (he didn't know I had promised Sheryl I would be no more than an hour total). We walk the same hallway and as we stop outside his room there are children already assembled in various stations of his classroom. Mary deposits her backpack on her assigned hook and he finds his. The door is cracked and Ms. B peeks out to tell Mary hello and doesn't see him as he's bent over retying his shoe.
When she sees Paul she holds her hands up to her face in exaggerated surprise and then turns around as if she is seeing things. He giggles. She spins and embraces him. He is beaming. Greetings are warm and he's nervous but seems so very happy. The other children approach. A song begins about greeting your friends and walking around the room and I stay. They head for a story and I stand right outside the area. Paul is beside Mary. It is a tactile book and the children are feeling things on the pages. The book is not finished and I see him place his hand by his face, thumb to his cheek and his finger waggle as his eyes dart at me.
Bye? Are you telling me to leave?
He nods yes. His eyes are dancing and his smile is contagious.
"Tell Paul's Mom bye!"
Mary interjects that I am HER mother too.
I leave. I am a totally different woman than I was one week ago trying to drive between the tears.
My son has mastered his fears. He comes home that afternoon a conqueror . . . a HERO. He painted. He interacted. He was a child in school who enjoyed it.
And we rejoice.
We weren't expecting it. We weren't pushing it . . . well, his sister Mary was but we were telling her to cool it. His book bag is still packed and ready and we allow him to peek but not to play around with the contents.
The school has been very understanding. They said to take as much time as needed. He has had encouragement and even allowed to do projects at home to be turned in for a reward sticker.
I don't ask "do you want to go TODAY?" I simply felt that after he faced his fears that first day I wasn't going to (at this point) push him. I think he pushed himself enough. I wasn't sure when I might start encouraging his return.
But today Mary came racing in and said "Paul said he wants to go to school today!" I didn't totally believe her. I didn't seek him out and ask him. I thought . . . let it be.
And sure enough, he verified Mary's position. He seemed excited. Their Aunt Sheryl came over to watch the little ones while I took them to school just in case he became overwhelmed again. I had been told I could stay as long as needed and he could leave with me when he returned. I didn't want Samuel and Julia sitting in the car - this needed to be about him.
So we pull in the circle drive and he starts a nervous whine/laugh/cry. I open the van door and he's out first but as Mary tries to exit, he acts like he's about to head back in the van. But its different this time. He is grinning like a Cheshire cat and its more of a nervous, excited state as opposed to being totally overwhelmed and shut down.
I tell him that he needs to simply come inside with me. He can leave immediately with me but he can wave to his schoolmates/friends/teachers. I can stay with him. I can leave. We can stay together as long as he wants (he didn't know I had promised Sheryl I would be no more than an hour total). We walk the same hallway and as we stop outside his room there are children already assembled in various stations of his classroom. Mary deposits her backpack on her assigned hook and he finds his. The door is cracked and Ms. B peeks out to tell Mary hello and doesn't see him as he's bent over retying his shoe.
When she sees Paul she holds her hands up to her face in exaggerated surprise and then turns around as if she is seeing things. He giggles. She spins and embraces him. He is beaming. Greetings are warm and he's nervous but seems so very happy. The other children approach. A song begins about greeting your friends and walking around the room and I stay. They head for a story and I stand right outside the area. Paul is beside Mary. It is a tactile book and the children are feeling things on the pages. The book is not finished and I see him place his hand by his face, thumb to his cheek and his finger waggle as his eyes dart at me.
Bye? Are you telling me to leave?
He nods yes. His eyes are dancing and his smile is contagious.
"Tell Paul's Mom bye!"
Mary interjects that I am HER mother too.
I leave. I am a totally different woman than I was one week ago trying to drive between the tears.
My son has mastered his fears. He comes home that afternoon a conqueror . . . a HERO. He painted. He interacted. He was a child in school who enjoyed it.
And we rejoice.
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